Mes dix manières de mourir

The above reads. My ten ways to die. More or less.
I thought I'd amuse myself, after having a good laugh reading Vern's blog.
In no particular order. Just anything that comes to mind.
(disclaimer : this is only for morbid humour)


10 : Alcohol poisoning. and/or OD
Now now, this would be MOST likely. Couple of years down the road, I would no longer be fair, but.. yellow. 0_0 i'm not being racist here. Yellow because, my liver would stop working. And thus toxins will build up in my body, yada yada yada.. dies. Mmm... od would be a slightly smaller chance since I've no idea where to get the druggies unless I ask... soo.. I'm staying away fm that for now.

9 : Cancer : from the excessive smoking, the eating of deep fried yummy delicious foods (like long john silver's and macker's ever sinful mcwings. OMG.) Now a days, even certain meat consumptions can lead to cancer, not to mention the toxic air that we're all breathing in.
WE'D ALL GET CANCER!!! ARGH!!! *runs around in circles to increase the melodrama*

8 : Do something stupid while really tipsy. :
now you must be questioning, why tipsy and not drunk. Well kids, cause when i'm drunk... I'm usually asleep. Or throwing up somewhere and I don't want to move for nuts. So.. never leave me between very tipsy and drunk. But then again, shoving alcohol down my throat might lead to, cause number 10. mmmm....

7 : Death by deodorant :
There was actually a report on a boy that was obsessed with smelling clean and good all the time that he sprays deodorant/perfume all over himself, twice, a day. Yes, as you would expect from me putting it here, that he died from it. WHY?! coz.... he sniffed in too much aerosol. During his autopsy, it was found that he had 10times more aerosol chemicals in his system then most people.

I like smelling good... I spray lotsa perfume. 0_0 LOTS.

6 : Death by lan gaming :
I'm addicted to L4D. One day, I might just play 50hrs straight, get really tired, have a heart attack and can't do anything about it. Joy. =_= Or... I could come outta the gaming session alive, and due to the lack of sleep, hallucinate and think i'm in zombie land. What happens then? I'd try to kill the zombies (who are actually real people) and get attacked in return. OR... I would... (this leads to point 5)

5 : Suicide : kill myself because the world is invaded with zombies. I hate zombies. If i ever become a zombie, I wouldn't know what to do... Coz.. I'm already dead! I can't kill myself again due to the lack of intelligence in my brain to pick up a rifle and shoot myself in the head. I'd be walking around saying, err... ahhh.... err...... and ghaahaahahahassshshhhh. Ew. Then again, I might just off myself one day when I get the guts to. But, I'm chicken shit and this probably wouldn't happen. I do have a played out scene however... I'm in the bathroom. holding something real sharp to my neck or wrists... i'm contemplating.. i'm scared... i think twice.. i'm about to put down the razor when suddenly, something crashes through the windows or the door! I get a shock and slash. oops.

4 : Death by aliens/ghosts :
I could be walking home one day... and all of a sudden.. I'd get abducted by aliens, get experimented on and have a missing organ, vital to my survival. Thus dying. Or.... I get a heart attack from some random scary thingie lurking in the corners. I'm scared now. T_T

3 : Death by overeating :
With the way i'm going... oh man.. so possible.

2 : Death by hungry cats :
so many cats around my area, so many mouths to feed... what if.. I get attacked and ripped to shreds like that guy in the show "parfum" he was eaten till none of his bones remained. a little far fetched, maybe, so i'm going with.. my bones lay there, with bits of flesh clinging onto it.

1 : Death by paranoia/accidents. :

I'm paranoid bout certain things... like taps. or gas. or microwaves. what if.. one day.. I go back to check if my tap is offed, i slip, hit my head on the tap, bleed to death, and no one finds meeeeeeeee. OROR. if i check the gas, i sneeze, hit the flame button, gas pocket explodes and i go splat! ORRRR. my water heater. SERIOUSLY. its right above the shower area... its huge asss big and supported by only a thin metal frame. ITS BEEN 10 YEARS SINCE I MOVED IN. Father, mother, don't u think its time to change the frame? I get creeped out by it. It could fall on my head while i'm in the showers. AND smash my head in. now thats an ugly way to die. no one will recognise me in the casket or when i come to haunt them coz of my smashed in face!

Dammit.


WOW u actually read allllll of my rantings.
I applaud u. tee heh. thank you!